Summer tends to be a little harder to get time to myself rightfully so with three 13 yr olds but this summer I have had an extra worry or two. Anyone that keeps up with me on facebook might know what I am talking about but I am going to explain further anyway because there is more.
I got a new doctor, this is a good thing, I have went neglected way too long. So I got the full work up that included blood work scans and what I call the Mamm -o- squeeze that is my way of saying mammogram. Turns out I had a lump on my left breast so I had to go back and do this oh so NOT pleasant procedure again and then I had a surprise mamm-o-grope this is my way of saying I got an ultrasound on my left breast. I may need to mention I make inappropriate jokes when I get scared. I got a call that left me less than happy. I was told I would need to wait 6 months for breast changes. This is a new altenative to a breast byoptsy :( can I just say what SHIT this is to do to a woman. I took this news, accepted it but cried quietly to myself.
Well there is a new development- a nice little spontainus gooey black green discharge -sorry to be graphic, I trust I am talking to women here and I trust I am taking to friends. If not I guess You are FREE to stop reading --oh the great freedoms of our world:) So Now I have an appointment with a surgeon. I think wating is not an option now?
Okay so what does this have to do with my creative blog? Well my creative health and well being seem to have taken a little beating as well. I can't seem to get my creative thinker back on track and much to my dismay this is more disturbing to me than what looms. Because as long as I can be creative I own moments of freedom in my mind. So now you can see where I have been, a tight tiny place in my mind that doesn't seem to allow me much else. Feeling a little trapped I guess.
I'll probably be fine, more to think about then to even really worry about, but for now I have a creative black eye. I miss this very peacful part of my life, I count on for my zen.
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10 comments:
Many (((hugs))) for you in this trying time! Thanks so much for sharing because not only do I now have an idea what you are going through, I have a better idea what others are going through as well. It connects us as humans and that is so valuable. My best to you, especially that you can once again find solace in creativity soon ♥
Liz it means a lot to hear from my creative friends and connections. I need to remember I am not alone and those love and cyber hugs are very real.
Big bear hugs to you Michelle. Sending lots of love your way!
many cyber hugs from me as well.
I can only imagine how this medical roller coaster has put a spin on your summer with the boys. More about spending time with them and less time spent with the computer.
Just remember if you need to vent or simply hear words of encouragement from your internet friends - we are there for ya!!
love Leah
Hi, Michelle! Sorry to hear about your trials and travails! Sounds very scary to say the least! And it is okay for you to be scared, and to not feel creative. To me, being creative is a form of giving ... and if I was so scared and hurting I wouldn't have much to give! I'd need some love and support instead. So, big {{{HUGS!}}} to you. Just nurture yourself and take care. Hope you get the answers you seek soon, that you feel better quickly, and that it all works out for the best!
Your creative black eye is understandable. Cyber hugs to you Michelle. I pray that everything will work out just fine.
I'll echo the comments and the (hugs) ...
... if you really are missing that creative tinker in you, try spending a little time touching and looking at your supplies ... you just might get that kick of inspiration ... and if nothing else, all that goodness is bound to make you feel happy.
wishing you the best of luck at your appointment!
**hugs** I hope all goes well the next time you go to the doctor! I had (very) similar worries not too long ago myself, and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that all of this, while very worrisome, is just that. I think that getting in touch with your creative side will help you deal with the stress that's hanging over you. Try to find that again!
Oh, and by the way...
Feel your boobies ladies!!
I am sending you my hugs as well! I cannot imagine what you are going through, but when I went through my trying time with my son, it was all I could do to try and keep myself together.
Do you write? doodle? I found a blank book for doodles. No expectation of art, perfect drawings, just doodles. It was something that helped me find some peace. It was nothing more than the act of putting pen to paper without expectation that started the flow again.
I just thought I'd share something that helped me find some peace and joy. I hope you find yours and that everything turns out fine.
I am so happy you have a new dr! (sending tons of love your way!):)
Suzanne
Michelle, I lost touch with your blog. I thought once I signed up to follow a blog my computer would just send it to me-anyway, so sorry to hear your news. My mother just went through a scare so can relate in that way anyway as to what you must be feeling. You are one of the most creative and inspiring people and I'm sad to see you going through this. I'll send healing prayers your way.
Krista
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